I Can Has Idiotic Post!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Friendly Social Networking Tool Commentor: OMG! I drank sooooo much last night! I had 5 beers, 2 tequila shots, 7 glasses of wine, and half a 1/5 of vodka...I know--I'm a total lush! And I puked everywhere!

We: Why are you telling we this?

FSNTC: Because it was awesome!

We: Okaaaay...but, not to sound like a jerk, why should we care?

FSNTC: I don't know; I just...you know...

We: Should we be proud to associate with someone who improperly mixes beer and liquor and vomits?

FSNTC: Geeze, I was just saying. You don't have to be a dick about everything.

We: No, we're just genuinely curious as to why you would write something like that on our [social networking tool] wall. What could anyone take away from this message? "I know--I'm a total lush" -- what the Hell does that even mean? You seriously think we and everyone-else-you-wrote-that-to's hanging on every word of your debauchery, and all the while we're thinking to ourselves Wow--she's a total lush! and then, when we see that you wrote the exact thing we were thinking we were going to--we don't even know what you thought we were going to do--maybe you should have written that on our wall, too, so we wouldn't be at such a loss right now trying to understand how you could ever think we'd be interested in or envious of or awed by your extraordinarily cheap attempt at self-aggrandizment!

FSNTC: I know--I'm a drama queen...LOL!