If your tweet today mentions AIDS, the color of your text will be red, Kudos, Twitter, for marketing a campaign of awareness through colored fonts.
Showing posts with label miscellolia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscellolia. Show all posts
he's not right on the money
I take on corporate giant Michael Moore in my review of Capitalism: A Love Story, read it here.
How to get your comment noticed on Roger Ebert's blog.
In case you haven't read it, you can read Ebert's blog here.
The comments generally run in the few-hundreds, but, if you're like me (in that you want to read the blogger's responses to some of the comments) you look for the bold-faced end-notes that say Ebert: and then follow with his response..
With all the invective that goes on in the comments section, I'm surprised no-one's put words in his mouth. I don't think I'd do it--or if I would, not maliciously, but I figure that others would similarly be on the lookout for bold text, so were I to post a comment, I would include a bolded citation just to give other readers pause.
Some other bloggers, such as Tyler Cowen over at Marginal Revolution, usually refrain from commenting in the comments section, and when he does, it's only to correct an improper citation or clarify a statement in the original post that his readers have misread--never to argue. And he does it without adding in bold his own thoughts to the comment. That may be the wisest way to do so.
I read a lot of blogs, and Ebert's is the first I've read that comments on comments in such a way. I hope it's not exploited, but it likely will be.
Anyway, here's my comment on his latest.
guthrie et voltaire
Arlo Guthrie on Woodstock, the nature of free concerts, and why he's a registered Republican.
My favorite line:
Have you ever seen “American Idol”?
No, I have never watched it. But I’m thankful we’re living in a world where we can actually afford to waste your time. What a great thing that is.
Somewhat related: Would you feel more insulted being called a Pollyanna or a Pangloss? Answer on Twitter, and I'll post some responses here.
thursday links
The worst poem ever scrawled.
Are political differences merely rhetorical?
What the Headline?: 'I love Jon,' Gosselin's new galpal gushes
William F. Buckley: Ping-pong pilferer.
The worst actor ever:
Coates claimed that he wanted to improve the classics. At the end of his first appearance as Romeo he came back in with a crowbar and tried to pry open Capulet's tomb. In another of his antics he made the actress playing Juliet so embarrassed that she clung to a pillar and refused to leave the stage. Eventually no actress would agree to play the part with him.
disney girls
Disney's first black princess
Which inspired a discussion:
Sister: Yeah, Disney's marketing IS in full force! How many years did it take them to incorporate 'princessess' of different races & colours other than Caucasian?
Me: Well, Mulan was Asian; Pocahontas was Indian; Jasmine was Arab; Esmeralda was a gypsy; Ariel was half fish; that's pretty damn diverse.
Sister: That's what I meant, it took Disney quite a while to get those kiddies into film and that news reel made it sound like Disney was churning out movies with so many racially diverse characters.
Me: Well, how many years did it take them to make actual people the protagonists? They did it up a bit with Snow White and on and off through Cinderella, but then they relapsed into animals for about 30 years before they went back to people--even then they were reluctant to lose the animals altogether, so you got human/animal hybrids like the Little Mermaid and then humans and animals vying for the role of protagonist in Beauty and the Beast.
movie drinking games
Drink Every Time . . .
1. A graph is shown
2. Al quotes anyone
3. Anyone says "global warming"
4. Al talks about his childhood
5. A specific country is mentioned by name
6. Al says "a friend of mine..."
AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET WASTED . . .
STOMACH PUMP ALERT! Every time Al goes to a new slide. STOMACH PUMP ALERT!
That's for An Inconvenient Truth, one of the better ones. Also good are Mask, Paris, Texas, and Rocky. The most dangerous is Noises Off!. And, of course, you have to check out Leaving Las Vegas.
As you might expect, the comedies aren't nearly as funny or clever as the dramas.
well, what has 2009 done for me lately?
Just got done reading a friend's latest blog post, and that, combined with the very sudden deaths of two dear people (within a week of one another), my dog Sophie's cancer diagnosis, Grandma's medical problems, and some other personal sh!t, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "I'll see you in Hell, first quarter of 2009."
So let's look on the bright side, because sure, 2009's yielded a few nice--even great things. And here they are:
Eastbound & Down. If you've been disappointed with The Office and are still waiting for Seth Rogen & co. to produce something really laugh-out-loud funny, this it. One reviewer said that Kenny Powers is the best character television's produced since David Brent. He's right.
The premise isn't anything impressive--Kenny's a former major-league pitcher down on his luck who takes a job as a substitute gym teacher--but it's all worth watching for Kenny. He's so well-realized that you almost like the throwaway lines best ("What's his name? Fuckin' Shrek? ...no, huh?"; "Do not stare at me with those dead eyes, you church-bitch...instantly I regret saying that"; "Work, drugs"). The supporting cast is very well-endowed, too.
Lose It! This application rocks--you can track the calories and nutrients of everything you eat, and it has a huge database of general and brand-name foods. If you can't find whatever the Hell you're eating, you can create a new entry; if you're cooking something, you can input all the foods that go into the recipe, and it'll give you the total calories and nutrients for that, too; if you exercise a lot, it has a large database of exercises and how many calories each one works off; if you want to reach a certain weight by a certain date, it'll set up a daily calorie-intake plan that'll help you reach your goal.
And it's free.
Gran Torino --Too bad the best movie of the year came out in January.
I don't know about you, but every Clint Eastwood-directed movie I've seen always seems very slow--High Plains Drifter, The Eiger Sanction, Pale Rider, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, Space Cowboys, even Unforgiven--but Torino's four minutes shy of two hours with a plot summary that reads like stereo instructions, and it keeps you hanging all throughout.
Clint Eastwood being a badass and grunting for about the first half-hour is eerily captivating. Then there's another half hour of him reeling off every ethnic slur we remember our grandfathers uttering after a quart of Wild Turkey: Christmas Eve 1985. Then there's the brother from Drew Carey. And a dog. And drinking PBR and smoking and chucking a fat Chinese kid and mannin' up another Chinese kid and yeah, no matter how you summarize the plot it sounds boring...but I have yet to meet someone who didn't love it.
For you film buffs who think it's beneath you, imagine someone combined Ikiru with Tokyo Story and then lightly Dirty-Harry-ized it.
The Oregon Trail--technically not a 2009 offering, but Gameloft revamped it for the iPhone/iPod Touch. It's not free, but it's as fun as the old one--though you're not able to hunt whenever you want and then sell the meat off so, even though you're a teacher, you make it to Oregon City with several thousand dollars and kids so stuffed with bison/bear meat that even the piercingest of snake fangs couldn't penetrate their doughy legs.
There's a lot of mini games, too, including fishing, collecting berries, repairing the wagon, panning for gold, a Simon-esque game where you send telegraphs, and, of course, hunting. The only one that kind of sucks is where you navigate the river, so it's nice they carried that over from the original.
And your family can still get cholera and dysentary and snake bites and broken arms and legs and carried away by eagles and eaten by bears, and there's funny animations that go along with all of them. It's also a breathtaking sight when you blast away your first bald eagle. Sweeeet.
Merriweather Post Pavilion--I don't know, I like this album. And I'm ashamed to admit I heard about it on NPR.
Words of Wisdom from Stephen Fry
And sharks are NOT dangerous. More people bitten by New Yorkers every year than sharks. Fact! Coconuts falling on head more dangerous. etc.
Bees, dogs, and lighting also kill more people a year than sharks. Don't have the data on the Dreaded Lightning bee-dog, though.
where does becker take place?
Becker takes place in the Bronx.
Not really a grammar question, but good to know all the same.
watchmen and the critics
The New Yorker's Anthony Lane's major criticism seems to be that the film is too stylized to be taken seriously, and, as much as I'm hoping to like Watchmen, I'm worried that he's probably right.
Comparisons have been made to Sin City, but SC was all about style--the characters were stereotypes and the plots simple--and I felt at least that it worked very well. Moore's Watchmen, on the other hand, had some wonderful moments of character depth, such as Rorschach's awkward handshake with Night Owl, the final exchange between Ozy and Dr. Manhattan, or anything dealing with the first Silk Spectre (who seems to be the most complex character in the book).
As for the plot, well, Ozy's grand plan feels like a Stephen King copout, but Moore should be given credit for, all throughout the novel, following the lives of everyone at the street corner when ground zero hits, which gives their deaths some resonance. And Ozy's, "I did it thirty-five minutes ago" is a first-rate twist. And even though the narrative's overridden with flashbacks, there's still a pretty decent story.
But the marketing of the film seems to concentrate solely on the visuals and the fact that Snyder directed 300, which makes those of us who read and enjoyed the depth of Moore's book cringe.
Roger Ebert, on the other hand, gave the movie four stars, but he's been taken in by visuals before with movies like The Cell and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, which didn't offer much else. Then again, only the first and second paragraphs of his review address the visuals, the rest covers plot and character.
But of course, we can't make the judgment until we see the movie. And to the people who thumb their noses at comics: After 5,000+ years of culture and the same criticism being leveled against theater, music, novels, cinema, and everything in between, how can you be so certain that a specific medium is incapable of art?
masters in beatles
Liverpool Hope University is offering an MA in the Beatles:
The new course, which can be studied both full and part time, covers four modules with specific issues relating to The Beatles and Popular Music, consisting of four 12-week taught modules, plus a dissertation.
''The Beatles, Popular Music and Society' marks a seminal advance in popular music studies. For the first time in the UK and possibly the world, a postgraduate taught course is offered to research into The Beatles, the city from which they emerged, the contexts of the 1960s, technology, sound and songwriting and the industries that have set up in their wake to capitalise on tourism in the city of Liverpool.'
Wouldn't such an intensive study kind of suck the fun out of them?
As a sidenote, did you know ever wonder what the lyrics to "I Am the Walrus" were all about? Abouthtebeatles.com reports:
"I Am the Walrus" was made up of three distinctly different songs--the first is the beginning of the song, which John was given the idea of by hearing a distant police siren. The second song was about John sitting in his garden at home ("sitting in an English garden..."). The third was a song which was invented after John learned that a teacher was having his students study Beatles songs for meaning. John created the song with nonsense lines such as "elementary penguins", "sitting on a cornflake", and "crabalocker". John later said "Let (the students) work that one out."
hollywood power list
1 Will Smith
2 Johnny Depp
3 Leonardo DiCaprio
4 Angelina Jolie
5 Brad Pitt
6 Tom Hanks
7 George Clooney
8 Denzel Washington
9 Matt Damon
10 Jack Nicholson
11 Julia Roberts
12 Adam Sandler
13 Tom Cruise
14 Russell Crowe
15 Will Ferrell
16 Meryl Streep
17 Robert De Niro
18 Ben Stiller
19 Jim Carrey
20 Clint Eastwood
More here.
the perfect long island iced tea
In a pint glass, mix
1 shot Beefeater
1 shot Jose Cuervo regular
1 shot Smirnoff Blue Label
1 shot Bacardi Superior
1 shot Cointreau
you can add the first four shots in any order you like, just make sure the Cointreau is last.
2 shots sour mix -- forget the brand, but it had a Hispanic woman with a flamboyant dress on the label
Add plenty of shaved ice -- and it has to shaved -- cubes don't work, and top off with Coca-Cola.
Don't fret about the color; if the drink is mixed properly, there shouldn't be an overpowering taste of alcohol.
real exchanges with the Alltel Salesdude
SalesDude: Welcome to Ahlltel; I’m Derek.
Nat: Nat.
SD: Nahnt?
N: Yes.
SD: Cool, bro.
N:...
SD:...
N: Uh, I’m looking for a new phone.
SD: Okay, what kind of phone are you looking for?
N: Well, that’s sort of why I’m here.
SD: Okay, well we got the Moto, and, uh, we got the Palm, and, uh, we got the Reznor, the ClaviCle, the Bohunk...
N: Well, I don’t really need any frills, just a regular cell phone.
SD: Okay, well the thing about these is that, I don’t really like the free phones because you’re not going to get as good reception with them as you would with, uh, like the Reznor, or like the Blue Gum or Gator Bait.
N: What’s the difference in reception?
SD: Uh, I really don’t know.
N: Like, would I be able to hear the person I’m talking with?
SD: I really don’t know. But like—where do you live?
N: In town.
SD: Okay, well, you shouldn’t have a problem. But like, say you lived in the rural—you’d have a lot better reception with these phones. And I know you said you don’t need any frills, but with these you can text ’n’ download stuff. This one has an external Cholo...
N: Just something I can use to call and receive calls clearly.
SD: What’s your job?
N: Uh, I’m an editor.
SD: Cool. Where?
N: [The Job Where I Work] over on [The Road By the Job Where I Work].
SD: Cool.
N:...
SD:...
N: Yeah, so how is the reception with this one?
SD: The Goyisher Kopf? Well, if it’s reception you want, for the free ones, I’d go with the Gin Burglar instead.
N: That one’s reception is better?
SD: I really don’t know.
N [Getting frustrated; takes out his old phone]: Okay: Will any of these get as good reception as my old phone?
SD: Well, the Nokia was one of the greatest phones ever built.
N: Well how different would the Nokia be compared to this one?
SD: I really don’t know.
how to write a Randy Newman song
The first thing to do is devise a narrator—one who in absolutely no way at all resembles Randy Newman. In the song “Rednecks,” for example, Randy assumes the role of an anti-Semitic Southerner singing about the North’s perception of The South. In “Political Science” he’s an uber-jingoistic American who wants to teach the rest of the world a lesson by blowing it up—save Australia, because he doesn’t want to hurt no kangaroos. Let’s not even go into, “Sigmund Freud's Impersonation of Albert Einstein in America.”
Next, the song has to celebrate something unbelievably horrible. Going back to “Political Science,” the narrator’s cheerfully advocating nuclear holocaust; in “I Love L.A.” it’s the shattering of the American Dream; in “Happy Ending,” from Randy Newman’s Faust, it’s the mass of sins emanating from Las Vegas (and the narrator is Satan going through a mid-life crisis).
Once you’ve settled on a narrator and the horrific theme, you can begin writing. The first few lyrics have to be benign, maybe even upbeat, so they can lull the listener into a false sense of security. And even then, you want to introduce the theme gradually. Oftentimes it’s only in retrospect that you realize how dark the song truly is; other times he’ll hit you broadside by casually mentioning something horrid like it's no big deal, usually in the refrain. And sometimes, though it’s very rare, the song isn’t menacing at all—which, of course, makes it all the more menacing to Randy Newman aficionados; that’s why “He Gives Us All His Love” is such a chilling song.
Lastly, use cuss words sparingly. Randy doesn’t cuss very often, but when he does, he goes full force—no “b!tch” or “a$$hole”; he goes straight for the throat with “sh!t” or “f@ck.” But even then, he usually utters them offhand to undermine their impact.
You’ll probably want to toss in a city name, too: L.A., Birmingham, Dayton, Baltimore, Miami, New Orleans, and Cleveland, all have their own songs, but Randy’s also taken aim at Las Vegas, Chicago, San Francisco, Boston, New York, St. Louis, and more. If you plan on referencing a city, though, you have to make completely sure that the reference is derogatory.
So let’s try one out. In our song, we’ll make the narrator…oh…how about a raccoon? We also want to make this a song about a city. Randy usually focuses on big cities, but we’re going to ignore that and instead make it a small town, a fictional small town we’ll call “Raccoon Sh!t, Iowa.” Notice, too, how we’ve included the cuss word, in this case “sh!t,” in the name—that’ll soften its impact because it refers to a place instead of a vulgarity.
The name “Raccoon Sh!t” will probably come as a shock to the listener the first time they hear it, but if we keep repeating it, it'll become less and less of a shock, so a good place to put it is in the refrain.
The first few lines should set the scene peacefully, and it’s best not to go over four because a long exposition can be dull.
It’s a paradise here,
A real Eden II.
There’s lots to eat,
And the skies are blue.
Simple, with a nice, lulling ABCB rhyme scheme. The second verse should hint that something’s not quite right with the narrator or the situation he’s describing, so feel free to make the lines a little longer. Our first verse emphasized food, so let’s continue with that theme and gradually pervert it.
Yessir, all the slop and garbage is piled up real high,
Enough to make Apache nation cry.
And every time you turn around your weary head,
There’s a tasty carcass of somethin’ freshly dead.
Since the listener is supposed to sense something amiss in the second verse, we used a familiar and soothing AABB rhyme scheme to cushion the blow. Now it’s time to hit them hard with the refrain:
It’s Heaven in dirt, aw lemme tell all ya,
Ain’t a place ‘roun like Raccoon Sh!t, Iowa.
The third verse can either go on twisting and perverting, or it can be disturbingly peaceful. We’ll go with peaceful. And if you’ve noticed, we haven’t yet revealed that our narrator is a raccoon, so we’ll make that a little more obvious, too.
Mr. Human get all mad when we raid his trash,
But what use he got for it now?
He say we’re bandits; we say, “Share the wealth!”
So eat up, li’l coons, here’s to your health!
The scheme of the third verse doesn’t matter much, just make sure it ends with a rhyming couplet. Then repeat the refrain about four times or so, getting a little softer each time until you fade out.
That’s about it! Now you can write your own Randy Newman songs and live a life of underappreciated surliness.
patrick bateman reviews pet sounds
Do you like the Beach Boys? I find their early work too shallow, too...idealized. It wasn't until Pet Sounds in '66 that the band really came into their own. In a way, it mocks their previous work by using the band's recognizably upbeat sound to explore far more serious issues. Crissy, face this way so the camera won't see your protruding vertebrae. This is especially noticeable in "That's Not Me" and "Don't Talk," which rejects the group's rapturous and declarative love songs to find deeper meaning in what isn't said. If she can't breathe then take the pen and punch a hole in the bag, Simone--I don't care if you hit her face. I take "God Only Knows" to be their undisputed masterpiece. In it, Brian Wilson addresses the risks of commitment and devotion, as Tony Asher's lyrics further the theme of uncertainty found in such songs as "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and "You Still Believe in Me." Oh Christ, just press her face down so the blood won't stain the pima sheets. "Here Today" is much darker in tone, using a catchier tune to sarcastically comment on the transientness of relationships, while "Hang on to Your Ego," "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times," and "Caroline, No" reflect on the feelings of self-delusion, alienation, and hopelessness. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! ALL OVER THE %$@#ING PILLOWS! THOSE ARE BAMBOO-FIBER, YOU STUPID LITTLE @&%!!! I'LL TEAR YOUR $#%ING THROAT OUT!!!
new year's resolutions
Normally when someone has a goal, they set a deadline, such as four o'clock today, Tuesday next week, or the first of the month. However, New Year's resolutions are just the opposite; instead of a deadline, they just set a starting point (New Year's). Since the goal doesn't have to be met by a certain time, there's not much incentive to meet it.
where to recycle electronics
I was having a terrible time trying to get rid of some broken monitors, and search queries, state waste-disposal websites, and random folks on the street weren't much help.
Finally, I stumbled on earth911.com, where you can enter your area code and what you want to recycle, and it'll display a list of nearby places that take it.
Looks like most centers around here charge $10 for taking a monitor off your hands--but hey, at least it's not wasting space around the apartment.
the most evil disney villain
We forget what the precise phrasing of the topic was, but we think we decided on "Who's the Most Evil Disney Villain?"
Our sister says it's Maleficent. As does this list she sent us:
"Those horns on her head, and the combination of black and purple in her costume (and as a dragon) are simply wonderful!"But we're not convinced. For one, the comments on the link say nothing for the villains' evil-ity--looks and powers are not indicators of evil, actions are--specifically actions that aggress against others. So where does Maleficent fall? She puts Sleeping Beauty into a coma and tries to kill Prince Dude. Okay, that's pretty evil, but what about some of the other choices?
"Maleficent is evil in every source of the word. From her lavishly gothic costume to her deadly powers, there is nothing to hate about her - except well, she tries to kill a princess."
"Now, I call Maleficent a true Disney villain. She gets both Aurora and Phillip and could have won if she just killed Phillip but villains never win. Maleficent does everything in her power to stop Phillip from reaching Aurora. Maleficent last battle was the best Disney fight ever."
"A powerful presence, Maleficent inspires fear and demands respect. She puts a curse on Princess Aurora merely for not getting an invite. That's wicked."
Kaa: Assault
Shere Kahn: Assault
The Queen of Hearts: Voluntary manslaughter
Claude Frollo--I have no idea who that is
Lady Tremaine: Involuntary servitude
The Wicked Queen: Murder
Cruell De Vil: Grand theft puppies
Ursula: Fraud
Scar: Murder; assault; involuntary servitude
Jafar: Fraud; aggravated assault
King John: Does he actually do anything bad?
Madame Medusa: Kidnapping; who cares? The Rescuers sucked
Out of all those, Scar has the most impressive rap sheet, which includes fratricide, regicide, attempted...uh...filial-fratricide? installing himself as tyrant, and enslaving Rowan Atkinson. Utilitarianally--and barring unforeseen externalities--Scar takes it.
We posed the question on Facebook, too:
The most evil Disney villain is Dori. She's constantly getting marlin in trouble. She is the most vile because she's smiles and pretends to help but is secretly plotting to kill him. That's why there isn't a FInding Nemo 2 (lost again). Because she eats hiim. YEP!
I like Ursula just b/c she sounds evil...but stealing souls and being an all around bitch...sounds like a good candidate. Second choice is Walt Disney himself for always making his characters lose a parent! The big Meany!
I vote for Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. That guy was a total ass hole.
I agree, Gaston was a pretty big jerk. Scar from The Lion King was quite evil, too.
You know, if Something Wicked This Way Comes was a Disney feature, I would put Professor Dark right up there.
After viewing Sleeping Beauty last night, I maintain my stance on Malelificent and all of her glorious evil wickedness.Your thoughts?
What if Disney did a film with Gordon Ramsey as the villain?!
