The local post office has had this poster on display for years, and every time we visit, we notice it.
But we're still not sure what the message is.
We looked the image up online, and apparently it's to warn you--or at least make you aware--of identity theft.
Okay, the prominent "IDENTITY THEFT" in the condensed font does the job nicely enough, but what draws our attention is the sketchy, Vin-Diesel-looking guy glaring at us. Then we notice that he's pasting his image on top of a woman. We've never stolen anyone's identity, but if we were going to, we'd probably steal from someone, oh, of the same gender. (We also wouldn't choose the image that makes us look like the kind of dude who'd steal a woman's identity.)
A quick glance at our driver's license reveals that sex comes right after date of birth on the ID info, so it's not like that discrepancy is tough to spot. Women, in contrast to men, also tend to have womanly names, like Bertha or Deidre. Likewise, we don't imagine Vin Diesel's height and weight to be in any way similar to the woman's whose identity he's stealing--for the record, we're pretty sure it's Ricki Lake.
And finally, shouldn't Ricki Lake be stealing Vin Diesel's identity?
identity theft poster
real exchanges with the Alltel Salesdude
SalesDude: Welcome to Ahlltel; I’m Derek.
Nat: Nat.
SD: Nahnt?
N: Yes.
SD: Cool, bro.
N:...
SD:...
N: Uh, I’m looking for a new phone.
SD: Okay, what kind of phone are you looking for?
N: Well, that’s sort of why I’m here.
SD: Okay, well we got the Moto, and, uh, we got the Palm, and, uh, we got the Reznor, the ClaviCle, the Bohunk...
N: Well, I don’t really need any frills, just a regular cell phone.
SD: Okay, well the thing about these is that, I don’t really like the free phones because you’re not going to get as good reception with them as you would with, uh, like the Reznor, or like the Blue Gum or Gator Bait.
N: What’s the difference in reception?
SD: Uh, I really don’t know.
N: Like, would I be able to hear the person I’m talking with?
SD: I really don’t know. But like—where do you live?
N: In town.
SD: Okay, well, you shouldn’t have a problem. But like, say you lived in the rural—you’d have a lot better reception with these phones. And I know you said you don’t need any frills, but with these you can text ’n’ download stuff. This one has an external Cholo...
N: Just something I can use to call and receive calls clearly.
SD: What’s your job?
N: Uh, I’m an editor.
SD: Cool. Where?
N: [The Job Where I Work] over on [The Road By the Job Where I Work].
SD: Cool.
N:...
SD:...
N: Yeah, so how is the reception with this one?
SD: The Goyisher Kopf? Well, if it’s reception you want, for the free ones, I’d go with the Gin Burglar instead.
N: That one’s reception is better?
SD: I really don’t know.
N [Getting frustrated; takes out his old phone]: Okay: Will any of these get as good reception as my old phone?
SD: Well, the Nokia was one of the greatest phones ever built.
N: Well how different would the Nokia be compared to this one?
SD: I really don’t know.
